Updated: Oct 10, 2020
Currently, we are quarantined as a world. A lot of people are saying that they are going crazy. Can I be honest? I am not. I am someone who struggles with depression and anxiety. A lot of us do. But during this time, I have been calm. I am not sure why, either. On Friday, I was talking with my therapist she said: "How do you feel about being quarantined and the whole COVID-19 pandemic." My response was this: "The panic will kill you before the pandemic does. I cannot control the outside world, but I can control my actions. It is not easy, but I've been through enough in life to know that I can make it through." She replied, "So, you're not worried about it?" I said, "Absolutely, I am worried. I am taking this very seriously. But the directions are simple. Stay away from people, wash your hands, sanitize surfaces, and stay in the house. Be clean and stay in your lane." She said, " I am shocked at how calm you are handling this." She is probably surprised because a lot of the time, I am emotional and have an attitude. But before this pandemic, the concept of "changing your perspective" has been coming up. Changing your perspective means to shift the language you use towards yourself and start looking at your situation from a different lens. For example, I am sure that all of you have seen this, instead of saying, "I am stuck at home." We say, "I am safe at home." So, let me completely and utterly honest. I have been begging and pleading with God and my life to get a break. So, in September 2019, I quit my job and up and moved away. Even though I wasn't working, I still felt like I was doing 10 million things at once. I needed a break. I went through phases. I was sleeping, traveling, and trying to figure out my schedule. I truly felt like a bum. I begged for a break. I asked for downtime, and I asked for time to do what I WANTED to do, and I needed time to work on goals. So, my schedule went like this:
October to December= DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Travel a little.Go to sleep little girl and get some well-needed rest
January=Close a chapter in my life and look at those goals and visions
February= Start planning for activities and events
March= You better be putting in work!
April= You still putting in work?
May= This is where some of the goals should be progressing. Did you meet the deadline? June= Self-Care check-in and overall evaluation. What are you doing? What's the status?
And guess what! The pandemic came in and changed all of that! At first, it was frustrating. However, I learned to appreciate the moment. Because now, I would have to learn to be disciplined and rest. So, I kept the same schedule as if I was getting up to go to the office every day. But I gave myself leeway in case I didn't precisely follow the program to a dot. Let me say this: DO NOT COMPARE YOUR SELF TO THE NEXT. Just because some have tuned in to our creativity and we have started projects does not mean you have to. As for me, this was part of my timeline. Like I keep telling my family and friends, it just so happened that my calendar and the pandemic aligned together. But that does not mean you are doing something wrong. Please honor your mind, body, and soul during this time. Listen to your body and realize what you need. This may be a time of productivity, or this may be a time of rest. You may be an essential worker and still must go to work. Take care of your needs first. I only share this so that you can see another perspective or get ideas. This has nothing to do with me wanting you to see what I am doing. I do not wish you to compare to what I do! Love yourself the way you love the world. How about doing a weekly check-in with yourself? How are you feeling? What are you feeling? What's happening around you? Are you able to rest? Do you need to rest? Whatever it is, honor your body. You deserve to love and accept yourself the way you do everyone around you. Love you the way you love the world.
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