Last week, we touched on the subject of being a student and grieving at the same time. How do we do it?
Being radically honest with ourselves and others.
And my all-time favorite; loving us the way we love the world.
This week let's discuss how we can communicate with professionals as we work through our grief.
I'll be the first one to admit it. Talking to professionals is not easy. For me, I often think that people don't care. When I was in school, and the counselors, social workers, and teachers asked me to talk to me, I just thought, this is your job, and you don't care.
I was a little negative thing. But it was how I felt at the moment. I am not sure if I was right or wrong, but I will say it was hard to be open.
Then I got to high school and had my first heartbreak, and I grieved that relationship, and I felt like a fool because the teachers watched a boy play me. So, I wasn't going to talk to anyone. Oh, and let's not forget; teachers also knew that my father passed my freshman year. Yeah, I was too depressed and insecure, ever to believe that anyone would listen to me.
Then college came, and life slapped me in the face. I finally had professionals that saw the pain I was in and pulled me aside. These professionals told me straight up, "If you don't see the help. You will fail in everything you because of all the burdens you're holding one too."
I was going through a time where I was sick and failing a math class. One of my mentors pulled me aside and said, "Lisa, you've failed this class 3 times, and this last time isn't looking too promising." I told him what was going on, and he said, "Okay. How about this? You agree to go to therapy, and I'll help you drop this class, pay the fee, and help you find a class that's equivalent." I couldn't believe it.
I had been honest for the first time. My mom didn't even know what was going on. But I had just opened to someone who only knew me as a student, someone he interviewed for a scholarship and a job. Yet, he saw the pain and agony I was going through and pushing through.
At that moment, I was freed and freed from bondage because I realized what opening up to someone could do for me. From that moment on, I went into classrooms and asked teachers to speak with them. I let them know that I was dealing with a physical and mental illness, and if I could be honest with them on the days where I physically could not handle it. Now, not all teachers were receptive, and in those cases, I either went to the dean or dropped the class. It was that serious for me.
I lived by that motto for the rest of my life, with jobs and other degrees and certifications. From that moment on, I vowed always to be honest with the professionals in my life.
Now, sometimes it didn't always work in my favor, and of course not, right? Because everyone will not understand your situation. Cool.
But I say this to you reading this because I know someone is reading this is having trouble with their day to day tasks. You have some much going on right now. I know you need someone to understand you! And I am telling you, go to that teacher, professor, principal, social worker, dean, counselor, coworker, supervisor, director, and maybe even a secretary and let them know where you're at emotionally in life.
Maybe you lost your job or house due to Covid.
Maybe you lost a baby this year.
Or a parent,
maybe even the deaths of Kobe Bryant or Chadwick Boseman affected you,
perhaps the murders of Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, or Ahmaud Arbery hit your soul.
There is so much happening in the world during 2020 that is probably affecting you. And that is normal. If it affects your job, schooling, or day-to-day living, please speak to someone.
I would say go to therapy or find a church member, but maybe that's not an option right now, so what I am saying, be honest with the professionals around you.
I promise someone in your environment will hear you and respect you!
Do not go through this alone. It's okay, to be honest with those you least expected.
This is part of loving you the way you love the world.
I am always telling you to love you the way you love the world, and being radically honest with yourself and those around you is part of that journey.
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