When is grief going to end?
When will I feel better?
I just have to get up and get it going.
I am okay.
I'll be okay.
It is what it is.
I believe the worst thing we can do to ourselves is to deny how we are feeling. When we put our feelings, emotions, and situations behind us, we damage our minds, bodies, and souls. Honestly, we hide and try to be strong, and little by little, we start to become miserable.
Does grief go away? I think so. I don't believe we live in grief at all times. I do think that we learn who we become in grief. Grief has a way of changing us. We do become a new person when we encounter grief. Once we hit the grief journey, we realize that everything we have suppressed and buried in the ground comes to light.
If we were people pleasers and we were people who held our issues to ourselves, we realize that we can no longer hide our situations. Basically, grief forces us to become a new person. We are no longer the person we were before the problem happened that caused us to enter grief.
So, do we have to stay in grief? I don't think. But in my experience, I have realized that grief is an ongoing process. Some days I have perfect days, and other days, I miss those people and opportunities that I grief. I've realized that there are things that I avoid so that I don't have those grieving feelings. Then there are other days where I am sick to my stomach because I can't help but to grief. The death of Kobe Bryant made me realized that grief would be sparked at any given moment. When Breonna Taylor and George Floyd were brutally murdered, I realized that I grief my family because I felt something for their families. When the people in this country couldn't have simple empathy for the deaths of innocent people dying, it made me realize a society of grieving people.
Does grief go away?
Do we have to stay in grief?
No. But that doesn't mean we have to ignore what we are experiencing either.
One thing we have to remember is that grief is a person by person situation. We each handle it very differently. Grief looks different amongst anyone who has ever encountered grief. With that being said, it is crucial to know how to manage your body and cater to your mind, body, and soul.
This is where loving you the way you love the world comes into play! You have to love yourself the way you love everyone else to address your grieving process truly.
When I was grieving, I couldn't explain what I needed. I was empty. I wanted to sleep all day. I wanted to cry, but the tears weren't coming out. People wanted to see me happy, but I was no longer the person they knew. I was different. Just like they had to get to know me, I had to get to know myself again, too.
Grief changed how I slept, my thinking process, and how I interacted with people. I was relearning who I was alongside my loved ones learning who I was now. They didn't even know it. I never went back to who I used to be, and I don't think I ever will either.
I don't want to stay in grief, but grief is an ongoing process. I don't grieve every day, but there are random days where the only thing I can do is grieve.
So, with this, I believe you hold the answer to that. You have to answer that question. Whatever you discover, I want you to know that you need to love you the way you love the world. Keep shining! I love you all!
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