Generational curses and habits are passed down to us from generation to generation. We receive these habits from the people we grew up around. For example, if you grew up in a house with people who drink a lot, then you might notice you or the people around you drink a lot. You might see that you are working two to three jobs if you grew up around adults who work a lot. If your mom had you in her teenage years, you or your siblings might have had a baby in your adolescent years. These are just a few examples of what that might look like.
But how do we break them? Great question! We have to make the decision to move in a different direction. We have to decide that the generational curse ends with us. We have to make an effort in Investing in ourselves and the generation after us. We take what we learn from the age before us, and then we flip it. I like to call this turning our pain into a craft. We grow up and recognize that our parents and the adults around us did the best they could with what they had or they didn't. We take what we learned from them, and we decide that habit ends here. That drinking ends here. That reckless spending ends here. Abusive relationships stop here. Eating all that junk ends here.
Let me say this, this is not easy. It is not easy going left when everyone goes right. It is not comfortable deciding that you want to change. Your family, your friends, your community might believe that you are doing too much, or they may think that you think you are better than them. But listen to me, that is their insecurity, and it has nothing to do with you. You still have to fight for what you no longer want to deal with. I remember one of my cousins' telling me that he was trying to lose weight. Everyone in our family is overweight, diagnosed with diabetes and/or high blood pressure, and just overall unhealthy physically and mentally. My cousin was telling me that he wanted to lose weight, and he expressed his concerns to his parents and siblings. What did they do? They laughed at him. My cousin said that broke his heart. He was over 300 pounds, and he was sick of it. He wanted to change his lifestyle, and he wanted to look different than what he saw around him. He went on to find a physical activity that he enjoyed and taught himself how to diet, and he lost the weight. To this day, he has maintained his weight and has stayed slim. He could have quickly fallen into the trap of I am always going to be like that, but he didn't. He made a decision that he was going in a different direction.
Personally, I have made the decision to go in a different direction with my love life. I do not often talk about this, but I will say this; I have been surrounded by divorce and infidelity my whole life. I do not want that. I have watched women and men settled for people who were never supposed to make it past hello. I decided I am not settling. I will not have the same story that all the adults and people around me have. Naturally, my dating life has looked different. My family believes I want to be alone, but it's not that I desire to be single; merely if a man can't match my swag or goals or plan, then I am probably not the one for him. He has to have himself together, and he has researched himself before coming to me. My man needs a life outside of me. We are each other's team. I am not his mother, and I am not trying to raise a grown man. I will be single before I settle. That is not to say that I have had the best relationship. I am still single, and my love life has been interesting, but I decided to change directions at some point. Breaking generational curses and habits is deciding to change directions even when the people around you make you feel out of place. When the life around you tells you that you just need to fall in line, you still decide to go in a different direction. As always, family, love you the way you love the world.
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